Happier
by Longfletch
Summary: Seven years after Hermione Granger has graduated from Hogwarts, she is ready to live out her life with Ron. But is she really happy or is someone holding her back?
1. Chapter 1

Hermione packed the remaining kitchen dishes into the cardboard box sitting on her counter. She heaved a heavy sigh, looking around at the bare walls and floors of her flat. _I'm moving in with Ron tomorrow, _she thought,_ the love of my life._

The traitorous part of her mind fired back. _Liar. Remind me why you're doing this._

_Because he makes me happy, _she reminded herself.

_Now, that's a good one. You've been practicing that lie haven't you? Only one guy makes you happy. And he's still waiting for you if you give him a chance._

"Please, not this argument again," she muttered.

_Until you deal with me, I'm not going anywhere. So deal with me._

_I have. Ron makes me happy, end of story._

_No, wrong guy. Harry does. So why aren't you with him again?_

Hermione sank to the floor in frustration. _Because he has everything he wants. And so do I._

_When was the last time Ron made you feel the way Harry does?_

She started to talk aloud. "Harry has Ginny, I have Ron. Isn't how this is supposed to be? In sixth year I helped them so I could have Ron."

Didn't count on that crush on Harry to turn into love though, did you? No, it was all about Ron and Ginny's happiness. Never yours. And then, turns out Harry loves you too. But you gave that all away, her practical side countered. 

"But it was expected of me. I had to. We could never be happy together."

That's rich. What about all the times you've had with him? Or all the things you've helped him solve? Or the numbers of times you've felt like the luckiest girl in the world, just because you knew him? And why would he feel the same way abut you if he didn't love you? You talk of being happy without him, but the truth is you can't be happy until you're with him. Her mental side snorted. 

"Well, Harry is marrying Ginny in a year. And I'm happily dating Ron," she said in a hollow voice. "No more discussion." Hermione almost expected a flash of victory but there was none.

Hermione began to cry. "Why can't I just forget him?" she sobbed.

Because you've made a mistake, her practical side said matter-of-factly. You're so busy making the Weasleys happy, you won't accept that. Deep down, you know Harry is the only one for you. But you are happy, aren't you? "I am. Soon, all things I've wanted in life will be real." And yet, Hermione continued to cry. 


	2. Chapter 2

The months passed by at a snail's pace. Ginny called Hermione frequently asking for help with preparations and questions on traditional wizarding wedding details that her mother didn't know. It filled Hermione's heart with sadness to help, knowing that every question answered was putting her farther away from Harry, but she answered them anyway. _It's for Harry's own good,_ she justified to herself.

One day, as Hermione was attempting to grade papers from her third year Transfiguration class in her and Ron's study, Ron walked in with a melancholy look on his face. He slumped down on the loveseat closest to Hermione and drummed his fingers on the armrest. After a few minutes, Hermione turned towards him.

"Would you please stop doing that? It's distracting," Hermione asked in a terse voice. She returned to her work.

"You don't love me do you?" he replied in a faint voice.

Her quill stopped moving instantly. _Seems he's figured you out, _her practical side thought smugly.

Ron continued. "I think you used to, once upon a time. Maybe it was infatuation. Either way, what was there is gone now. We don't really talk or do stuff together. We don't even fight like we used to." He gave a faint smile. "Remember that? We used to be able to row with the best of them. It's like I've lost the Hermione I used to know."

He looked up from the carpet. "Harry's noticed it, too. He's worried about you. He loves you as much as you love him, maybe even more."

"Ron, there's no way he loves me, he has your sister and then…."

"Don't lie, Hermione," he interrupted gently, "I've known about it for a while. I'm not that thick-headed."

He smiled wistfully and she gave him a small smile in return.

"I understand, you know. It just hurts that it had to be this way. Can we still be the best of friends though?" He held out a tentative hand to her.

Instead, she buried him in a bone-crushing hug. "Of course you crazy git," she answered smiling. She pulled away with tears in her eyes. "You'll find the woman who loves you exactly the way you are someday. I think I already know one who does."

A confused look crossed his face. "Who?"

"I won't tell. You'll have to guess," she said cheekily.

Ron stuck out his tongue at her. "Meanie. I do have to tell you something unpleasant though." He began to play with his fingers uncomfortably. "It seems that Ginny decided to move the date of the wedding."

"When would that be?"

Ron's hand moved the back of his neck. "Er, well, you see…They--well…."

"Spit it out Ron. It can't be that bad."

"It's Sunday."

"WHAT?!" She jumped out of her chair, knocking it over in the process. "But today's already Friday and it wasn't for another three months! What happened?" Hermione began to pace quickly.

"I tried to stop them for Harry and your sake. They wouldn't listen to me though. 'What does a man know about planning,' they said." He let out a small grunt of displeasure. "The rehearsal dinner is tonight at seven. Considering that you're Harry's best friend you should be able to come but I don't think you'll be able to talk to him. Ginny's holding on to him like a Niffler holds on to gold. It's kind of sickening actually." He made the same face that was usually only reserved for Percy

Hermione chuckled as she passed the loveseat for the eighth time. "I thought you liked the idea of your sister marrying the Harry Potter."

"Let's just say, I've changed my mind. But anyhow, who'd you say likes me again?"

"Not telling. Almost got me that time."

"Damn."

Later that night, Hermione holed herself up in the bathroom.

"I can't believe I blew it. I had my chance but no, every time I start talking to him he has to run off and do something for Ginny." She buried her head in her hands.

Her practical side decided to voice its opinion on the matter. _There's a reason for that you know. But you really don't' listen to me anyway so…_

"Oh, shut up," she grumbled.

"Who are you talking to?" Ron asked through the door.

"Nobody, Ron, I was just thinking aloud."

"Well, Harry's here to see you."

Hermione almost bowled Ron over in her rush to open the door. "Now?"

Ron rolled his eyes. "Yes, Hermione, now. He's in the kitchen."

"Don't push your luck, Won-Won," she retorted as she walked off.

While walking towards the kitchen, Hermione mentally prepared herself for what she needed to do. _Just walk in there, tell him the truth, and wait for his response. Nothing more, nothing less. I can do this. It's just Harry. Best friend Harry. Yes, just…wonderful, good-looking, caring, loving Harry. Okay, this is not helping. _She gulped as she opened the kitchen door.

She burst into laughter. There was Harry, covered in jelly happily munching on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while reading The Quibbler. "How'd you manage to do that?" she asked leaning against the door recovering from the lack of air.

"Well, it wasn't coming out so I thought I would just magic it out of there. But it seems that jelly is not the best thing to try magic on. Highly unstable." He took another bite of the sandwich.

"Honestly, Harry, I didn't think you were capable of making such a mess." She took her wand out of the back pocket of her jeans and flicked her wand at Harry. "_Scourigfy!" _He was instantly clean.

"Thanks, 'Mione."

"You know I can't stand it when you call me that," she said as she sat down next to Harry.

_No, you don't, you actually like it. Makes you think you're special, he doesn't have a nickname for anyone else but you, _her practical side pointed out.

Harry smiled. "I like it, so you're stuck with 'Mione.' " His face turned solemn. "But really, what's bothering you? I know we haven't been able to talk since this whole wedding business got started, and I'm sorry for that. So maybe we should start again by talking about you." He looked at her expectantly.

_Here's your chance. Tell him how you feel, _she thought.

"I've just been feeling down that's all. Guess I'm not ready to see you married yet." Although she was smiling on the outside, her practical side was berating her. _What are you doing? All you have to do is say, 'I love you Harry.' That's it! Stop lying and tell him!_

Harry looked crestfallen. "Are you sure? It's just that it's as if something else is really bothering you. Is it Ron?"

"No. We did break up but it was mutual and-"

"Oh. How…awful."

Hermione could have sworn she saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. _Now say it. 'I love you Harry.' C'mon you can do it._

"So where are you gonna go now?" Harry asked.

"I'm not sure. I might go back with Mum and Dad or stay here." She looked down at the table. "Or steal you from Ginny and go elope," she added in a mumble.

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." _Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid,_ she kept repeating in her head. She faked a yawn, "I'm really tired and all so I think I'll go to sleep, then. Night, Harry." She quickly walked away from the table.

Harry lightly grabbed her arm. "Oh no, Ms. Granger. You are not going anywhere until you answer my question."

"The first or the last one?" she said trying to stall for time.

"Both," Harry answered with resolution. "Now tell me what's really bothering you."

"Nothing at all. I'm just stressed with work and the wedding and the fact that I don't want it to happen at all." _Oh no, I actually said it, _she thought

_Yes! Finally, thank Merlin!_ , her practical side rejoiced.

Harry looked slightly amused. "How come?"

"It's just that I think you'd be happier with someone else. Someone who doesn't just see you as Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, but as Harry. Regular, plain Harry who just wants to have a normal life and a family and good broomstick."

"And you would give that to me?" Harry's face was unreadable.

"Yes. I mean, no! I mean…that is to say…" She gave up talking and did what she exactly shouldn't have -- she kissed him.

_What am I doing? I am snogging another woman's soon-to-be husband!_ _I shouldn't be doing this! I'm a respectable woman not some…Merlin, he's a good kisser._

Hermione finally pulled away. She looked at Harry, who was breathing as heavy as she was.

"I'm so sorry Harry! I just lost focus and…" She continued to apologize

"I'd say you had plenty of focus." Harry grinned. "That was the best kiss I've ever had."

"I…really?"

"Yes, and now I can finally say this." He stood up. "Hermione Jane Granger, I've loved you ever since what was supposed to be our seventh year. Every time I even thought of someone hurting you, it was like someone hit me with a Bludger to the head. I still feel that way. When you and Ron started dating, I threatened to hex him into next week if he ever did anything to upset you. I don't know why I proposed to Ginny: it could've been the fact that she cared enough to wait for me or maybe I couldn't have you. But now, I can and I plan to make every last minute of this count. You are mine Hermione, and no one else's. I don't want you to be with anyone else, just me." He enveloped her in hug. "You can't," he whispered into her hair.

"I never wanted to. But, Harry, what about Ginny? What'll she do? She loves you too." She ran her fingers through his hair.

"I don't know. I don't even know where to begin."

Hermione began to struggle mentally. _Ginny deserves happiness with Harry._

_And you? You love him more than she does, don't deny it. You said it yourself. And he just confessed his love for you. You've been waiting seven years for him to say that. Isn't this your happy ending?_

_Yes, but not at the expense of other people._ Hermione stepped out from their embrace. "Harry, we can't do this."

"Hermione, please. Don't say that. Please."

Hermione winced at the pain in his voice. She looked at the table. He tried to hug her again but she stepped back.

"She loves you too. You owe that to her. Aren't you happy with her?"

"No, she's not you. Hermione, please."

She let out a sob. _It sounds like he's dying._ "Harry, you need to go before this gets us into deeper trouble."

"'Mione…" His voice cracked.

"Go, Harry." She wrapped her arms around herself. "You have to."

Harry stood there for what seemed an eternity. Finally, he spoke, "Okay. Whatever you want." He took a step towards her and cupped her face with his right hand. "But know that I love you. Always. You're my 'Mione." He kissed her again and Apparated.

Hermione fell to her knees. Body-racking sobs passed through her as she slowly lowered herself to the floor. _I did the right thing. I let him go because someone else needed him._

_But at the cost of both of your hearts. Was it worth it?_

Ron had walked into the kitchen to see what the noise was. When he saw her on the floor, he began to panic. "Hermione? Hermione, what happened? Talk to me!"

Ron dropped to the floor and hugged her tightly but she didn't feel a thing except for the dull pain in her chest.

_No. It wasn't._


End file.
